Three weeks in and if feels like a lifetime. This remote teaching is something else. The workload has tripled; the tiredness has too. The planning is relentless and all of the extra keyboard activity is ridiculous. I am trying to co-manage a department, support team members and juggle a timetable of Key Stage 3, GCSE and A level classes - And I often forget I have four needy children of my own to mother, educate, feed and water!

In honour of world breastfeeding week, I have decided to talk about my own journey. It’s not something I’ve been particularly vocal about; I haven’t promoted or protested ‘breast is best’, nor have I jumped on any bandwagons when other mothers have spoken strongly about the benefits or had firm beliefs on the rights or wrongs. I’ve never experienced any negativity towards me when I’ve fed in public. Maybe if I had, I would have been more of an advocate for breastfeeding mothers. Maybe I’d have joined support groups or participated in public awareness? All I know is that my experience has been wonderful; to me, it has been the most normal thing in the world. I had no expectations to begin with and I am lucky that it just came naturally to me and my children. I have been breastfeeding on and off (mostly on) for almost eight years.

I love a newborn. People always ask me when I’m having another! And my response...”if they stayed like this... I’d have ten more!”
We spend all of the first few months of our baby’s lives waiting for the milestones. You put in that phone call to everyone you know when they give you that first smile (even if it is wind!). Better still, you capture a picture of it and paste it all over every social media platform you own as well as sending them to friends and family members privately! The rest of the time is spent impatiently wondering when they will sit up, crawl, finish Uni!
Just laying there, a big ball of curious cuteness, I feel almost sorry for them at this stage. Unable to communicate, to laugh when you tickle them...tell you to stop tickling them! Happy but helpless, and my goodness they are easy! Soon, laying flat on their backs becomes turning, turning over turns into sitting up. Tummy time becomes rocking and backwards on all fours and then there’s that chorus of cheer as they begin to explore they’re own little world by crawling about all over the place... And they’re off!

Sleep deprivation is a bitch! She decides to visit me more often than I’d like; offering me a menu of symptoms to choose from and endure such as blurry-eyes, brain-fog, feeling unfocused or disengaged. Just fabulous when I have 4 small children to manage and a husband to feed grapes to!
These days I’ve come to master the art of ‘pressing on’ with said tiredness. It’s become habitual behaviour. I don’t remember a day without it. Those of you who have read my blogs before will know I wake to a shop bought Starbucks cold coffee every morning. Standard!

One whole night and (almost) a day without the children. Well, three quarters of them. Number 4 still requires breastfeeding on demand and so I simply cannot go anywhere without her.
Darling husband has surprised me and booked the Penthouse suit at a hotel in Cambridge in a bid to help me to relax the night before having a minor procedure at Papworth. We are here for one night before heading home tomorrow after my day surgery. My parents have the other three for the night. That’s 24 (ish) hours of freedom in my book.

“You couldn’t make it up!” I heard my husband saying it at the same time I was thinking it (my eyes still shut tight); because every single child woke up so sprightly this morning having had a permitted (very) late night. Oh yes...it’s the first day of the holidays!

Mmmm... that warm, fuzzy, extremely comfortable and content feeling you get as you are stirring, but still snoozing, to the sound of the birds chirping their happy “mornings” to each other. You allow thoughts to begin to flow. You sleepily plan what you might do on this fine day, what you might make for dinner: wonder whether you may have won the lottery last night...cue one eye open to check my email...Nope - sigh.

I can never eat a biscuit alone or leave a can of Diet Coke on the table without one of them taking a cheeky swig (or 3). I have witnessed my children going to extreme lengths to ‘sneak’ a sip of MY drink! Sometimes they think they’re clever and work together; planning in sign language to each other and whispering loudly.

It’s a Friday evening. Trampolining training has been cancelled. This means I can finish off the busy week with a semi-normal evening. I’ve only got to make dinner for 2 children (and breastfeed another) as number 1 is off on a ‘play date’ at 4.30 pm. 4.30 pm….that gives me an hour (ish). I can do this!